Writer: Paul Bonner
Written on: 25th November 2024
I first arrived in Thai Binh city, Vietnam on a cold, wet night in January 2017 at about 8pm, having left Hanoi at two in the afternoon. I was supposed to arrive three hours earlier but it had started raining, I got lost, didn't have Google Maps at that time and didn't speak any Vietnamese. My phone was dead so it took me another 30 minutes before I was finally directed to the New World centre.
"Ah, there you are, I thought you'd never get here! I kept you some dinner and got a few beers for us for later."
Those were the first words spoken to me by a remarkable lady who, over the next few years, would become a dear friend and would also change me as a person. No recriminations, no complaints, just instant warmth and hospitality.
Little did I know it then but I had just met a true force of nature. Sandra Harris was the epitome of the phrase 'tough as an old boot but with a heart of gold '. For most of her younger life she had been a pub landlady in a tough fishing village in the South West of England. She knew how to handle people, when to be blunt and when to show compassion. These traits would serve her well when, after losing her husband, she decided that she wasn't going to just sit around feeling sorry for herself. She threw herself into charity work, vowing to help others less fortunate than herself.
She told me about her time in Africa caring for orphans and shared many sad stories about the things she had witnessed there. She spoke proudly about her family and indeed almost everyone else in her hometown (that girl loved to talk!) Rather than retreating back home after her experience in Africa she vowed to continue with what I believe she saw as a new purpose in her life, helping others.
She was one of the first volunteers in a new initiative in Vietnam which aimed to help single mothers and other disadvantaged women, what we know today as Catalyst for Change, led by another remarkable lady, Ms. Hong Tang. Sandra initially signed up as a teacher but it gradually became obvious that she had so much more to offer. She became the 'Mom' of C4C. Over the years that she was involved she went to every town that C4C operated in. She filled in when a teacher was needed, she took care of children when there was nobody else to do it, she cooked and cleaned. She helped other volunteers to settle in and helped with any difficulties that arose.
She periodically returned to England but would always end up coming back, drawn not only to the work she was involved in but also by a country and people which she grew to love. Her base was the C4C house in Hanoi. There she ran cooking classes and taught English and other skills to single mothers. She built up the confidence of women who had had a hard time in life and gave them the strength to rebuild their lives. She babysat kids when the mothers were busy. The house was chaos, but organised chaos.
Whenever I was in Hanoi my first trip was out to see Sandra. I once arrived at the C4C house and was told she was at a little bar around the corner that we used to go to. I went there and found that Sandra had been left in charge while the owner went out to conduct some business. It was typical of her character, people knew they could trust her but also knew she would take no nonsense. I laughed as I entered to see her berating some of the locals for some misdeed.
She returned to England for what turned out to be the final time just before the Covid pandemic struck. She had planned to return to Vietnam again in March 2020 but was unable to do so. She also had another charity trip to China organised with a friend which she had to cancel. It was typical of her unwavering commitment to helping others.
I always kept in touch with Sandra even when she wasn't in Vietnam. I was supposed to go to England to work for the Summer of 2024 and we had arranged to meet in her hometown. That job didn't materialise in the end and we decided to reschedule to the Summer of 2025.I was shocked and heartbroken to learn of her death from a Facebook post by her son on November 10th, 2024.
We here at C4C and everyone else that met her deeply feel the loss of a one-of-a-kind person. You only have to look at all the comments about Sandra on the C4C website and also on her son's Facebook page where tributes poured in for her. She was an inspiration to so many people and I was very fortunate to meet her and become close friends.
I write this on the eve of her funeral with a heavy heart. We had so many good times together and I will miss her a lot.
Goodbye my friend. You taught, touched the hearts of and inspired so many people with your actions. You will be truly missed.
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